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Monday, October 15, 2012

Humble

After much thought and still more to do, sometimes accepting accomplishments is a hard thing to do.I am a firm believer in confident not cocky.I have recently realized that not accepting one's own accomplishments in it's own weird way is just as harmful as being too proud.I personally see pride or not being humble as an all black or all white area. But I am realizing that I may have to accept the many shades of grey in-between.Also I have come to realize that accepting ones own accomplishments isn't bad.As I have always tried to remain humble I catch myself not accepting what may rightfully due.

This stemming from a recent overcoming in public arts in my community.I recently completed a 72 ft mural in Ashtabula Ohio based on education.And upon my speaking in company of state senator,city manager and many public officials I was talking to the ground during my speech.I realized I was trying to not be prideful in my accomplishment as I would have done another mural if asked.This mural was 72 ft in length.I provided it at no cost to the city.I also completed all work by myself.I never looked at this project as a huge overcoming.Let me add that I was happy.I was proud but not full of pride.Upon completion though I almost refused the wonderful reception of comments and other speeches.Not to be ignorant! I just ( in my head ) knew I did it for the kids,the community,and it was not about me.So as we had held a ribbon cutting I almost felt overwhelmed.I felt as though I in some weird way did not deserve such a wonderful process.

So back to the case at hand acceptance of owns own accomplishments.I suppose in the end at this part in my thought process it is not bad to accept your accomplishments.As NOT accepting them or gloating about them could be (damaging) in some ways....Now ensues my personal journey of acceptance of my accomplishments.Its such a strange thing to think about.I have tried to remain so humble my whole life.I have had things,I have had nothing,I have had parents,I have lost them,I have been addicted to drugs,I am now less then two months from 7 yrs sober,I been through moments of immense turmoil,I have been through moments of immense joy,I have lived in nice houses,I have been homeless....

At the end of the day I am left with one question What is too humble?

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