Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Family Values

Family values.What are they.Like a value to a piece of art I suppose it is only worth what someone is willing to sacrifice for it.I say that lightly only because I myself have come from a quite dysfunctional family and when I had got to thinking the other day I realized when I watch other families well I don't know how a normal one operates.I never sat at the table,I rarely can remember a family function and well  as far as morals and life issues My family that I knew and I probably weren't the best to model yourself after. This comes up today in this blog well, because as I was younger not having family never really bothered me.I handled it well made the best of what I had and that seemed to be good enough.As I have gotten older and am now about to hit 31 in feb. I realized this want for family.This urge to have it.Now I have a daughter I have not been able to see for an extended period of time and I love her dearly which only fuels this family wanting fire.But as I look at other people (some not all)I realize they only use there family,They value it more than life itself,and with some they cannot stand it and it seems that blood may be no thicker than water.

I guess where I have become perplexed by this conundrum is why now?Why the deep want for family as I have gotten older when I was fine without it?Aside from the things with my daughter who I have never stopped longing for I catch myself wishing my deceased mother was back.I catch myself wanting to have a relationship with my biological father whom I have only seen a dozen times in 30 years,6 of those times being in the last 2 yrs.I also find myself wanting to know the family roots,meet cousins,all in all I guess take a sense of pride or hope in the word family.Now personally in my family well this doesn't work many have tried at numerous let downs and fails.Not a sob story but the family is known only to come together at funerals if that.So back to the original question?

Is this something planted so deep within us we don't even realize it?Is this case of wants or morals built into us or picked up along the journey?Do you keep striving for the unreachable?Or do you just let it go?The fact that through my whole life.Crazy childhood,drug addicted mother,being addicted myself,homelessness,having tons of money,being poor,happy,sad.....Through all of this the two things I cannot shake and take the hardest is the tribulations with my daughter and the want for my blood family.I have plowed through many hard situations without too much trouble.Bringing me to only one logical answer through what I have seen.IS IT SOMETHING SO DEEPLY WANTED BECAUSE IT IS SO UNOBTAINABLE?!The reason I stress that question is cause and this is not everyone but a majority I feel I can safely say.....At my age if they have family its a bother or they don't want it.If they don't have it they long for it.If they have it and its severely dysfunctional they get caught in a limbo of heartache and torment from the ins-and outs.

Family in my opinion at one time had a sense of pride and value.You were happy to be the butchers son and you followed the trade with pride no questions asked.Family had a meaning.Family had a sense of hope.Family was behind you through the good and the bad.And please I am not suggesting anyone abandon all hope or take this as a judgement call this still exists in some families to this day.I just sit here typing completely perplexed on how it is that I have gotten older and now I feel I need my family...Let me also state when I say need family throughout this whole blog I have been talking about love.Not for money or whatever it may be that you can receive from someone.Just that unconditional love.So as I bring this to an end I would like to stress a simple suggestion.If you have family and can tolerate them love them regardless cause they may not be here tomorrow.And if anyone understands deeper than I why this want to have family is instilled in us regardless of age well leave a comment as it would be much appreciated.Have a good day everyone

Monday, October 17, 2011

seasons in life

Life like art has seasons.A time to paint and a time where you just aren't feeling it.In these seasons I myself wonder why me?Why must it hit now?Like the cliche when it rains it pours.Well life is funny like that.Here is a perspective did you ever notice crying looks like laughing if there was no sound!These emotional or physical seasons come regardless of our actions.These seasons make us who we are.There would be no happiness without being there for a rough spot or two.

When faced with change or a season embrace it.Now it may not be easy nor may it feel like the right thing to do but,unless you can do something to change it well.......Embrace what makes us stronger.Embrace what makes us individuals.These seasons so to speak are just like a natural season like spring or fall they only last so long.And as much as it may seem like eternity while dealing with it remember that it will eventually evolve into something else.I am in a season.Yes I still have my stable points my sobriety,apartment,so on and so on but I personally have not painted in about a month.For those who truly know me well this is an oddity for me.But,it was a season and the transformation or evolution just had to take place.

Being born Feb. of 1981 am like alot of us 80's children.We want everything yesterday.Most of us would like to get from point A to point B  in as little time with the least amount of work involved.Well some of us as we get older realize this is not possible"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary". But, these seasons that everyone reacts to and treats differently help us.These seasons as uncomfortable as they may be teach us our mistakes.When to slow down.When to speed up.What has worked in the past.What has not.These seasons or trials and tribulations in life have a purpose.I personally get frustrated when I cannot go from A to B and wonder why there are stumbling blocks in my path.But I try to understand without having stumbled would I truly appreciate what I have today!?...Without the mishaps and the difficulties well how strong as individuals would be truly be.Very much like art life takes practice.And very much like art you almost never get it perfect.But it is possible to get it to a point of comfort-ability.So when hit with a season in your mind that may seem equivalent to a northeast Ohio winter...Remember this can only exist so long.Prepare,Handle,Brace,and Embrace.Realize there is a possibility this may happen again.And back to another overused cliche.Is the glass half empty or half full?Because in a sense life is what you make of it and how you chose to see it.So if your glass is always half full the seasons seem to me to go by quicker where as when your glass is half empty now your going through troubles and your looking at this half empty glass.It in my opinion would be hard to stay positive that way.So enjoy your days.Prepare the best you can.And life is going to do what it is going to do.Try to handle it the best way you know how and when it feels like its going to overtake you well thats where you learn to better prepare for the next issue...As always smile,embrace,enjoy and get out there and live life 

Monday, September 19, 2011

I first want to start by saying I am sorry to those who subscribe has it has been a couple of weeks since the last post.I have had so life issues to deal with and came down with a sinus infection so bad I am on antibiotics for a month...uugghhh...So on with the post.


So We have this canvas and we have emotion.We in most cases lose common sense when our emotion over rides our intelligence.So as we start this painting on this canvas we paint,paint,paint....Some times neglecting to see the way the brush is acting or the way the canvas is taking to the brush.We in opinion neglect to see this cause we want to paint......

So there is my analogy and I am just going to write this without the analogy as I realized I dont want anyone getting lost.Now we as people may make decisions based on emotion.Because these decisions are based on emotion we neglect to keep in mind that there is more involved than what we may think,feel,or see.I personally am in a situation where I cannot see my daughter because her mother rather it be that way.And I can go to court and many other things to achieve desired results.But I personally am thinking about approaching it differently because I have to remember no matter how much I love my daughter or no matter how right I think a situation may be her and her mothers feelings have to be taken into accountability.As much as I DO NOT agree with the mother well I have to think about how it will affect my daughter!

The basis to this post is basically before you make a decision in life of any nature.A judgement call of any kind.Remember you are not the only part of the equation.And when are emotions get the best of us we tend as humans to start thinking selfishly.Now when I use the word selfish I mean in the context of expecting what we think is owed to us and trying to achieve it by any means necessary.By doing this we may affect the other parties in any given situation negatively or abrasively.This in my opinion is not the right way and where our emotions drove our common sense into the not so common realm.When your emotions over ride your intelligence in any given situation that can get us into trouble or run us into a stumbling block that if we would have just thought about every provided outcome may have been avoided.So when faced with troubles,decisions,or something that needs approached ....THINK....Think from all perspectives.And keep in mind that if you act on impulse as strong as it may be well be prepared for any outcome as though you really did not think it through.And when it comes to my situation where it involves a child remember your dealing with delicacy and children innocence and that should not be jarred by the selfishness of anyone including either parent.This post is a little off my normal subject and for this I am sorry.There is just alot going on right now.The blogs will be coming back in on a regular now that I am getting over this sinus infection and the troubles going on...Please give some feedback on issues you would like blogged about.Thats what it is here for.The people.And again please excuse my absence and I am glad to be back.Thank you all for the time you have taken to read

Sincerely Chritopher Raab a.k.a artisticneurosis    

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Purgatory

: A place or state of punishment wherein.So lets take the religious symbolism out of this scenario.So a state of death leading to a purification.To me this could be the stop of one thing and beginning to another.Very much like my story of getting sober and picking up art!Now on to the punishment wherein....I myself am plagued by anxiety attacks due to the damage I had put my body through.So I can relate to the definition so to speak of the word purgatory.Now I have heard many testimonies,stories,experiences,and so on about what individuals of many walks of life have been through and I (and this is only an opinion) but I have found a combination of communality in 99.9% of stories.This metaphorical purgatory.This transition from point A to point B.If they were positive or negative in outcome is different from story to story but there always seems to be this line where a individuals thought processes and or way of life change.This death turned purification so to speak.And I use both the word death and purification lightly.Only cause any change that may take place is open to interpretation by the individuals themselves and the people they surround themselves with.Another communality seems to be struggle.If it be large or small (again only an opinion) but there is usually an internal and or external struggle before or within this change or purification so to speak.So back to the case at hand in a state of progress there will always be your so called purgatory's and in a state of progress there is always the death of one thing and the birth of another.Embrace these deaths and births.Embrace this change as it occurs as it allows us as individuals be who we are or may be becoming.The purgatory so to speak in itself is the development stages of what may be ahead.Therefor do not let this get you down.It will not last forever and in its own right it is a means to an end or means to a change.When faced with trials and tribulations or even hard times try to smile and continue on.It is all a part of the process some see more some see less but in my opinion we all see hard times.Make the best out of it.Enjoy smile and remember tomorrow is not a given do what you can today!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Art Show

Sometime next year if anyone would like to be part of an artshow e- mail me....I am thinking of pulling in as many people as possible to make a huge show happen.Anyone interested let me know.And the next blog is coming soon thank you all for the patients!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

encouragement

I have received many emails as to the encouragement passed through the blog.For this I am appreciative of.Many up and comings.Many people in troubled situations looking for the escape so to speak.I also get alot of I cannot draw or do art.I tend to disagree.Much like my last post art does not have to follow a guideline,it does not have to mimic someone else s...It only has to portray or express what you feel.And what you feel like showing when you feel like showing it.There is the old cliche (a picture is worth a thousand words)Remember nobody can tell you how to express your thousand words so to speak.Art can be very functional at getting out what you normally could not voice verbally.I strongly encourage the many that have contacted me and the people who read but may not have to take an old board paint it white let it dry then go to town.It doesnt have to look any certain way.Just paint draw or use a sharpie marker and do what you feel.If it be detailed or scribbled.Realism or abstract.They are your feelings and works and enjoy them.Nobody else has to.There is a sense of reward in others appreciating your art.But for me I am blessed that people can relate to my passion.I love this in its own right but other than my commissioned pieces I paint what I want to.Not what standard America as a whole wants to see.Some embrace it.Some ridicule it.But at the end of the day I got out what dwells deep inside of me.The masses liking them as a whole doesnt really count for much if you didnt enjoy what you were doing.I mean it is a means of income but like any other job that is where love becomes work.Enjoy let it be fun be happy.Express what you feel like expressing.The worse case scenario is you have a bunch of your own art in a room somewhere but again you released the part in you that may not have made it to the surface otherwise.And like life or a mistake or mishap.Grab the boards and go over them again constantly changing them up.At the end of the day accomplish something.Do something productive.Don't worry about what others will think and most of all be free with yourself while doing so.Enjoy and I wish you all the best.Im in need of a nap.lol.Then back to painting.I hope to hear from some of you.Let me know how it goes.Instill the chill.And keep dreaming.Thanks C . RAAB (artisticneurosis) 

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Keeping the head up

I have previously deleted the last post.I have hit a roadblock with public art where I reside.I am trying to not let others opinions or in my opinion others narrow-mindedness get to me.It had me there for a minute.I get frustrated when I try to promote healthy ways to improve on arts in places and they are like its graffiti or nope not in our district.It could be a flower or actual graffiti and to them it has no merit whatsoever!So my frustration ensues.I have tried to get the local kids a public wall and everything.I have moved into the fine arts but have not forgotten my roots and these kids need a way to express themselves.I guess I dont understand how the generation before me can be so quick to turn down a beautification of there own city.I am not asking to graffiti things I am just asking to give me,the community and the kids something nice to look at and a place to express ourselves.It can be fine art but let it be art none the less.Every thriving town has a art community where this is accepted even encouraged.And it has proven to stop kids from breaking things and what not.I grew up doing graffiti.I am not saying to let these kids run crazy.I do not promote vandalism.But let a painter pick up a spray can and try to do a mural.Its an art.In fine arts the two major groundings I had were graffiti and tattooing.Both are frowned upon in the fine arts at least where I reside.And everyone is entitled to there own opinion.But when I show in galleries or people look at my art like wow I love it they neglect to see it's roots.Also let the standard artist be it a fine art painter try to tattoo or throw up a graffiti tag.It would be a mess.Although the galleries and community are constantly (trying) to convince me its not art.No WRONG.It is what it is.And back to the case at point for those who read my last post which had been written out of frustration please excuse my actions as I normally dont carry myself that way.And mark my words art is a movement and I am bound and determined to get public arts accepted where I reside.It can only make the place better.How can you have a billboard or mcdonalds everywhere and be battered to death with that imagery and not want to see something more encouraging and uplifting.I had hit a point where this ongoing battle was effecting my painting at home and my attitude towards the cities.But NO I refuse to let people knock me down especially when you enjoy my fine arts.I am still mind blown at how you will love the canvas art but when you ask we where I started and me being me tells you the truth all the sudden my fine arts are not interesting.C'mon...Really....Well again viewers I am trying not to complain which I have but I am frustrated at the lack of acceptance of the arts.We can build monuments,buildings that fall apart,and other things that somebody gives merit.Why can't my functional things not have the same merit?So as a frustrated citizen and a person who loves art I will drop this subject as far as blogging goes for now.You cannot take the art out of the artist.I will provide more encouraging and uplifting posts around the corner had to vent.Sorry and respectfully thank you for your time C. Raab (artisticneurosis)

Monday, August 8, 2011

Art events and a few galleries in northeastern ohio and others......

Lake Shore Artists...Local to Ashtabula an artist guild encouraging the growth in anything artistic.
www.lakeshoreartists.net
Ashtabula Arts center.....Gallery,Plays,and everything Creative
ashartscenter.org
Waterloo 7 Gallery... Willoughby Ohio...Showing local artists,owned by sculptor Jerry Schmidt
www.schmidtsculpture.com
Misc. Festivals pertaining to art
www.artfaircalendar.com
Geneva Grape Jamboree
http://www.grapejamboree.com/
Sandpiper gallery
www.sandpiperjewelrydesigns.com
Other misc. Art walks and shows in or near Cleveland Ohio
http://cleveland.about.com/od/events/tp/summerarts.htm
Misc. Galleries spread in Cleveland Ohio
http://www.letmypeopleknowcleveland.com/Play/ArtScene/ArtGalleries.html
LOL>>>...A Link to more links and websites pertaining to Ohio arts..
http://www.lkwdpl.org/locals.htm
I hope some of this helps anyone up and coming, established,or interested...Will post more as time goes on but the best I could do on a short notice.Thank all of you and I will be posting some paint tutorials on here.Not mine but things that maybe helpful to someone starting out or thinking of starting into starting painting again e-mail me or leave a comment if there is something else you would like to see up here and as always keep creative ,keep motivated, and enjoy C. RAAB


Thursday, August 4, 2011

The next post

Just a warning the next post will include all of the art shows and artistic events and links to these events from sept.2011 through mid to late 2012.I am gathering information from other artists and organizations.I will also be posting a few tutorials on painting if anyone is interested.Please leave comments on what you would like to see more of so as that I can help.The next post will be here in 3-4 days and will be packed full of as much info as I can get pertaining to art in northeastern Ohio.Please feel free to leave comments.And as always Thank you for the support.   Chris Raab

Thursday, July 28, 2011

The change of life

Lately I have been contacted by numerous sources that state the impact that the many publications that have been done or this very blog has touched there heart or they can somehow relate.I am only telling my story and as true as it may be it is only my story.I myself have underestimated the impact the human thought or words can accomplish.I have come to realize that the one thing I have misunderstood is that even though I don't think much about my hard knocks they hit close to home with other individuals.I just live my life with the thought that it is what it is and it will be what it will be.But the more I tell my story or share with others I realize that this is a tool that can be better used.I help people who have been in my shoes as often as possible.I try to provide good insight.I do to me what I consider natural or mutual respect so to speak.As more people relate or touch base to share feelings I would hope it heals all of us knowing we are not alone.Knowing that no matter how hard or trying life can be at times that there are others.In a time when we may feel so alone we really are not.I appreciate all feedback on my story or testimony so to speak.Alot of people say wow what a gift and I personally don't consider it that.I do not cut it short of a tool to help others or myself but I don't know that it is so much a gift as it is the fact that doing things alone is uncomfortable. I would have given the world for more people like me.I had the few for which I may not be writing now without.But all in all most of my journey was traversed alone.I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.I only ask to the people this touches, To spread your awareness and your stories and help others as I have because I am realizing that the impact is astronomical.The impact a few words or a listening ear can have are immense.And the stories we share at any one time may be exactly what someone needs to hear at any one given time.I have said this before and I will say it again being positive and constructive is contagious.Think about that and just as I have touched any of you...Go out in the world humbly and be there for someone else.It spreads like a pandemic.It is not a cure for the twisted world we are forced to live in nor will it make everything better all the time but, That one listening ear,That one heart touched,The one soul encouraged and uplifted is more than we could do for anyone.I appreciate all the feedback I have received via e-mail,phone,the few comments....Keep them coming people cause they help me as much as they help you allowing all of us to go out there and help others.Never underestimate the power of your story regardless of what you think of it cause it can change lives give new perspectives and as long as your being humble and honest well what more could we ask for in life.Thank you all again!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Canvas is my muse

The canvas sits
The anxiety builds
As the paint hits
The canvas fills
Does the canvas understand
This deep seeded emotion
Started cause my mind was offhand
The canvas feels these laws of motion
Letting me release
This thing I cannot escape
Helping anxious feelings cease
The paint becomes the drapes
The colors have feeling
The canvas takes the pain
Takes everything I am dealing
Washing it away like the rain
These panic attacks drive me crazy
Therefor I turn to the art
Knowing that one day these silly feelings
Will one day depart
When they leave and allow me full life
I will still appreciate the canvas
For turning my wrongs into rights
And for giving me back the old chris
So canvas and paint
Thank you for being my muse
Taking away my mental restraints
Allowing yourselves to be used
To get me through the times
So short yet feeling so long
Taking these feelings of mine
And letting me know there not wrong.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

This reflection we see

As we look into a body of water we see a reflection.A version of us we choose to see based on what we see and feel.What do others see?Life is this body of water constantly reminding us of who we are and what we are looking at.Life being this body of water I know personally I have looked at it realizing it harbors many different things.This pond of life stares back at me showing this reflection that doesn't seem to resemble me at all.As I become irritated with this vision of me I am seeing so to speak I have kicked the surrounding land into this pond and my irritation in itself has distorted my reflection even more than before.As life or this pond starts to ripple I find my reflection becoming only more and more distorted.So as the pond calms a bit my resemblance of myself begins to reappear.Now slightly calmed I begin to analyze this reflection again.Realizing in many ways I am happy to have it back yet it does not portray me as I see me.Just before I make the decision to get angry and cause more ripples I had to realize I am in control of these ripples so to speak.I will have ripples due to outside entities but I can control the ripples I make thus distorting my reflection less as time goes on.Now the reflection in itself is only what I perceive it to be but,with life being this pond.And reflections being inescapable.Make the best of it be happy with what we have no matter how big or little that may be and realize if you keep making ripples it will become impossible to see yourself clearly.Make your pond and its surrounding area how you would like it and remember be happy with it because your the one that will be gazing into it.You can make it appealing to others but keep yourself in mind cause there will be passer byes of this pond as time goes on and you will be the one living near this pond forever.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Deep poem........

As I draw what I feel
Then as I take another look
Realize that its all so real
Only being paper in my book
As it all takes shape
The paper starts its guiding
As I see where I have escaped
But from what am I hiding
The colors in themselves
All seem to take form
These thoughts I had stored on a shelf
As the paper seemed to scorn
The paper screams at me
Needing constant attention
It all seems to be
It was me screaming did I mention
But as I let go
The paper began to listen
Telling it what nobody knows
Paper knowing it wasnt fiction
The paper worked with me
As I would draw
Not ever judging the journey
The things that I saw
For this I am grateful 
Cause It is my only release
Letting me know I am capable
Of staying on my feet
So as I look at this sheet
Feeling it is way overdone
I see a little bit of me
Like the paper wanted to run
But it had stayed at my side
Through it all right there
This paper and I went for a ride
But it did not tear
And through this papers strength
There was one thing Id always see
As it had gone to great lengths
This paper was ME

.....Another original late night poem.....Sorry if it seems a bit dark but I am an artist and this is how I express myself...I hope you enjoyed and even better if you could relate......C. Raab (artisticneurosis)

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Restriction on art

As an artist I find my often constricted.I try to go through the right venues only to be denied.?Now dont get me wrong I do not mind showing in galleries nor do I mind doing all my commission work which I am entirely grateful for but,when it comes to public arts I hit a brick wall.Many would agree if I can make it into the rock an roll hall of fame that well my art is good enough to be shown in a public area.And I only want to gain the acceptance for this type of thing to open it up for me and other artists.But at no avail I go through all the right channels and sure enough be it,the un-acceptance or narrow mindedness it always gets shut down.Now could I go to a larger city and do these things yes....But the key is opening the door!Every major city in every major state has in some way accepted the public arts.The thing that not only beautifies the city but provides the common folk with something awe inspiring to look at.Now I in no way justify doing this illegally nor do I plan on it but there has to be a way  to get public arts more accepted.There has to be.Anyone willing to help or anyone that shares the same vision let me know......C. Raab (seriously disturbed at close mindedness).........

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A simple love poem

Art is inspiration
That I use for a muse
Being a form of motivation
That I choose to abuse
As I pick up the brush
Vivid visions in my mind
Like the gentlest of touch
Almost confined as if Im blind
Almost taken through the painting
As if something was guiding my hands
Only left with no restraining
Onward begins these plans
Taking shape like a child
Growing in leaps and bounds
These emotions have compiled
Where colors should have sounds
The palette screams for attention
Just as much as the canvas
Taking on a whole new demension
You would have thought that I had planned this
As the end draws near
Not wanting to let go
As I have released this fear
Loving this one thing I know
...............................................
This poem is original and was written at about 3:45 am and finished about 4:00am...Just an expression of one thing that has gotten me through so much in life.....Art is a way of life....Thank you for taking the time to read..

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

A metaphor for the position I find myself in

So this metaphor is about a real life situation for which I cannot post to the internet.So like anything genius you find a way.Cause this personally has me in between genius and insanity...

To people that know me this blog entry will make perfect sense to those that don't know me personally this may create some confusion.

The story evolves as follows......Stay with me here.....Ok here we go.


So two artists choose to collaborate for reasons unknown to either of them but they get together to form this one piece of artwork.A masterpiece that is equally loved by both of them.They share this masterpiece till one of the artists realize that this piece of artwork can be manipulated by changing the frame they claim it as only owned by them.They refuse to admit the value of the other artists work.They then through the market for art at the time be it a incline or decline decide well this art can be used as leverage.As the artist that was left out feels torn and lost without this masterpiece in there life.Now in time the artist using the artwork as leverage may or may not have damaged the piece.But the artist that may not get the credit or the time with the piece they love so much loved remains in constant thought about this art.Almost an obsession so to speak as if this piece of art was a CHILD.As this person debates on what to do with the person holding this masterpiece as leverage.They become torn.Wanting to take them to small claims.Wanting to show the world what this art means to them.This artist has also hit a point of being lost.Understanding there is no way possible to recreate this piece again.Refusing to drop the thought of this artwork.The thought is in so many ways the jaded artists biggest blessing and worst downfall cause the thought isn't getting the collaborated piece any closer.Therefor killing the other artist.Pulling on the motivation.Damaging the artists creativity and imagination.So as time transpires all that is left is the dream that one day the artist will achieve this goal so to speak and have this masterpiece in the living room to look at.That the artist will be able to repair the damage if any.To people that know me this blog entry will make perfect sense to those that don't know me personally this may have created some confusion.This was not my intent this blog was a personal matter I had to get off my chest and I thank you for your time.C. RAAB

what language do you laugh in?

First off excuse my absence for the past couple of weeks as I myself am doing some heavy thinking and getting ready to do this blog thing full force.I will try to stay consistent as far as pertaining art to my random thoughts...But I am going to start touching subjects that may be a little borderline as far as life...

So back to the original question what language do you laugh in?We create barriers between ourselves.Sometimes being our own worst enemy.We all cry the same tears.We all bleed and breathe the same.This is not a racial thing either.This is a boundary we establish due to beliefs,thoughts and expression.I am judged on a regular due to the art movement and how I chose to express myself.Till people see the method to my madness they always tend to judge the book by the cover thus only creating a stumbling block in between us.We all laugh in the same language.We all want to be understood.We all on some level are judged due to whatever we may be doing.Be it jealousy in the artist movement.Be it track record from a dysfunctional past.Or  maybe just pure judgement from those who don't want to understand or have a complex about themselves like many of us do IF we look into ourselves deep enough.ME INCLUDED.Please don't misunderstand these blogs are only a perception that I pull from what I see or experience in a given day.And I see like minded people with the same goals detach themselves from one another due to whatever may cause it.We would be more positive and productive in the things we do if we could all understand ourselves and take the time to understand others.How can you judge a forest when your staring at one tree.We all laugh in the same language! Point blank and I in my own opinion am not saying we have to enjoy everyone we surround ourselves with but take the time to understand them before you block them out.Personally a couple of the most beneficial people to my process as I have gone through my trials and tribulations are people I never would have guessed would have been behind me.Where would I be provided I had chosen to judge them.Don't sell yourself short due to simple misunderstandings.We for the most part are all painting this canvas we call life and we all want a nice picture...Time to collaborate....  

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

misundrstood

In life and most artistic expression.We as a whole can find ourselves and the things we choose to do so easily misunderstood.As a human I know one thing I appreciate and rarely receive is understanding.If it be that a person doesn't look into it as far as I do or that life in its own ways forms these misunderstandings.I feel we all have a natural want to be understood.To have someone understand that there is a true meaning behind the things we do.These misunderstandings may cause confusion,conflict,or may simply go un-noticed but none the less still misunderstood.Perception seems more often than not to create this chaos. Take a book or a piece of art for instance.These things are created by a artist to portray a story,feeling,or emotion.Although the person reading the book or viewing the art may see the story or the painting differently than the person who created it.They may feel different emotions due to that persons life.Now the best part is that even if it means something different it still materializes itself inside the person receiving it.Does that mean that it was misunderstood though seeing as how it was not portrayed the way the artist had hoped?I don't know honestly.I just know personally in my life I have been so so so misunderstood as to my true meanings,paths and ventures.The method behind my madness so to speak.So as always be aware as to how you portray yourself as that you may alleviate some of these misunderstandings.Or stay in the misunderstanding as that may be your intent to be the type nobody really saw the genius in.All in all though given a certain situation remember there are a million variables allowing the room for misunderstanding to grow bigger by the second.Do with it what you will and enjoy your days.Live laugh and Love.....Life is too short.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

The beauty of a flower

The beauty of a flower is a perception I watch take shape.As masculine males sometimes say that appreciating the beauty of a flower is feminine.I am not saying this pertains to all males but I watch some males become skiddish is pointing out that something society may call feminine is beautiful.I personally look at flowers and see a beauty that is sometimes so hard to recreate in painting.This natural thing that takes on life and blossoms into this magnificent piece of artwork all on its own.The color the shape the many things so often overlooked.Much like an insect in the sense of I can paint an insect and I will get a different reaction be it a caterpillar or a beetle.Is the insect in itself more masculine or feminine then the flower?A man may appreciate a cool looking bug a women may embrace it or run but,what is the difference between the flower and the bug as far as masculinity goes?The flower and the bug co-exist in real life.Is there a line?Is one more feminine then the other.Also I am only making these statements being that a person passes these subjects daily.How do they recognize them.Do they see beauty.Does it automatically get categorized as feminine or masculine?Or does it get overlooked all together?Does it get appreciated?The next time you walk through the woods or walk down a path or even through the city.....STOP take a look around.How are you perceiving things?It all becomes a beauty in its own rite I suppose...Depending on how you choose to see it....

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Truth be Told

Art is a love.Art is a way of life.Something may take the arts from the artist but,will never take the arts out of the artist.Artist's are different in many ways then those that are not artist.The outside the box point of view.Every artist like every human is different.Every artist like every human is allowed a certain amount of freedom or freedumb.Every person given some self exploration has art instilled in them to a degree.All of us are capable of art regardless of how it is carried out.All of us are capable of overcoming life's circumstances given strength.There is a saying DO NOT FEAR THE ARTS FEAR THE ARTIST....This pertains to life in many ways regardless of if your an artist or not.The saying do not fear the arts fear the artist means something to me that may or may not be similar to what someone else thinks about it.To me this is a non-threatening statement only stating do not fear the piece of artwork itself or the symbolism within.Fear the imagination of the person creating and giving life to the things many of us choose to run or walk away from.In life this becomes relevant in the terms of education upon many other things but,Don't fear knowledge.Fear the person that has the knowledge to use to their advantage and progress farther than you in life.Something like knowledge though is so widely available that to me there is no excuse not to gain it provided you have an interest.And let me back up a bit by saying do not fear either in the sense of intimidation.Just be conscious and aware of your surroundings at all times understanding what you have accomplished and what you are up against.Do not fear something as in its literal term of being scared but understand the variables.Understand the circumstances.Be aware of what may or may not happen.Also be healthy about it try not to let it consume you.Something that consumes you even if it be art for example isn't such a bad thing but,To be consumed by something has its ups and it downs.I myself let things plague and consume me.I am only trying to give an explanation and encouragement.Life has a way of taking its toll.There are things just beyond are control but our reactions to these things is a some what conscious decision.You have a choice to embrace,be in fear,get angry,be happy,be sad or be motivated.The choice is yours do with it what you will.Life is your art make it a masterpiece! 

Thursday, June 9, 2011

That Fine Line

As I was sitting here working on some public art proposals I am getting ready to do.I was doing all this fine line work.Line after line I had made a comment to someone.About being confident of myself and not cocky..As they and I both shared a laugh.Well then it hit these lines in life that like art or anything for that matter exist...The questions started flowing and I realized that there is a fine line between almost every opposite.That threshold that you cross if it be by lack of caring or by a conscious decision.Lets look at some.There is a very fine line between:Love and Hate,Confidence and cockiness,Gifts and bribery,Gain and loss,Up an Down,Positivity and negativity,and many many many others just let the mind wander.!?Where joy becomes job....These lines so often overlooked and crossed are always there and almost always have their own form of repercussion.One step forward or one backward and you have ventured from one side to the other.As an opinion we live life walking the line.Some strictly stay to one side or the other but life has a way of unbalancing us from one side or the other therefor allowing us to walk the line so as we can jump from one side to the other as a defense mechanism in a way.These lines are like state lines or the border to a canvas for framing as though they are not seen but do very much exist.The line between thinking and being neurotic.Leaving me with another couple of questions for you to ponder if you choose.When does the threshold begin?When do these unseen yet so well defined lines show themselves?With them being opposites you would figure well there must be a positive and a negative outcome but,Negativity may motivate someone and with everyone having a certain way of dealing or their own defense mechanisms well what may be destructive to one persons thought may not be to the next.So do we all carry our own set of lines?Are we all applicable to the same rules?And again without a response from the line crossing and without keeping it in mind all the time how do we distinguish just how close we may be to a line at any one given moment?If we all have lines existing they probably exist in different places for different people.Leaving it to the individual to figure that out.Does that line in a given situation describe you or your morals?Does that line like so many others exist simply to be crossed and learned by?As I release this random thought I think I am crossing a line.What does it matter?Some of this is common sense.But if I can get someone to ponder on a healthy thought or to be aware of the lines in their life or art well then I have brought someone to an understanding of themselves.Once we understand ourselves well we may make more conscious healthy decisions.So as I end this rambling I realized something else where is the line in humble?Is it just merely etiquette.If not etiquette well than at this point in my journey I have only to wonder if these imaginary lines make us who we are as people.And if they do I guess it is up to the individual to distinguish these lines and handle them or ignore them as they see fit.So hopefully there is some insight gained from this.I am not trying to confuse anyone.Just where I am in my journey well these thoughts arise from time to time.So enjoy your lines embrace them or ignore them but realize there is a fine line or a threshold to be crossed in almost every given situation if you choose to look for it.Thank you all for reading.Leave a comment and let me know what you think.The blog is now set up so everyone can leave comments.They have to go through a moderation process for profanity but I encourage feedback so please let me know what you think.C.Raab 

Monday, June 6, 2011

The definition of insanity

The definition of insanity in it's literal sense would be to show unstable mental health or bouts of madness..Now in life pertaining to human nature we have that definition and this one.Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.I am guilty of this very thing.I catch myself and some others I know falling victim to this scenario all the time.I am amazed at myself when I catch myself doing it.Wondering why I have allowed this thought process to begin.As humans it becomes easy to do something over and over due to optimism that it will work to our advantage.And some times it does.But much like mixing paint if you mix black and white you will get grey.The shades of grey may vary,but all in all you still have grey.I find myself wondering as I watch others and myself why we think we can mix black and white and get blue.Now there are variables to every situation.So if you have changed the circumstances it then loses its insanity because you have changed the rules so to speak.This is were a gift becomes a curse-I mean if you think about it.There is a phenomenal amount of optimism involved in trying something repeatedly to try to effect or change the outcome you have received so many times.The persistence.Yes this persistence is what keeps some moving.I thrive on it sometimes.When does persistence become insanity though?And does it ever become insanity?If you think about it persistence is what may make or break something.There has to be a certain level of optimism in order to keep progressing.If an artist see's a canvas with no vision of what to paint on it they may or may not paint and it may or may not become a masterpiece.So if it can be what makes something progress or if it is part of a transformation so to speak why is it referred to as insanity?Why is persistence considered insanity when without it painters would never become famous,Artist's of any kind would never make it for themselves,Inventors would have given up after the first try,Kids wouldn't strive to get good grades and we as humans would become stagnant.So if insanity is repeating the same thing over and over expecting different results and expecting different results is considered persistence and persistence being what helps things evolve well how can we call progress insanity?

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Imagery Imagination Influence

We as children start out with this wonderful perception.This child like innocence so to speak.This belief structure which is based on how we imagine it and is very open to suggestion.We see things like art.Now a piece of art mat evoke reaction or emotion thus changing the way you looked at something if even for a moment.Art in itself being a form of imagery or a sense of the body, has the capability of completely changing one's mind.As an artist I can look at wood grain and see faces in the grain or a way I may want to carve a particular piece of wood.A dancer or musician may hear sound and the urge to move or create may happen.This imagery especially as a child is even more influencing and as a child we are more susceptible.As adults we are overloaded with imagery of all kinds all the time.It may be visual it may not be but it is in a constant state of fluctuation and is happening at almost every given moment.These circumstances may change how we view or react in life very much.This constant battering of imagery is taking its toll.It may be positive it may be negative.That in itself is left in the eye of the beholder.This imagery can influence our imagination also if it be a help or a hinder it is almost always an influence.Imagery in some rights makes people what they are.If you watch the same type of shows all day long and you end up in a casual conversation with friends this imagery will most likely find its way into the conversation.If you happen to be particular to one artist or one style of art this may also become the main key to decorating in your living area.The icons,images,and many things we see everyday may have more of an influence than we think.I saw a child the other day so happy to just be doing whatever it was they were doing.And leave it to something shiny or something with lights to catch their attention.I thought how nice it must be to be so easily amused but,We are....So maybe it wasn't something shiny.Maybe it was(laughing).But we as adults fall victim to the same types of imagery just on an adult standpoint and perspective.Example:You drive past a mcdonalds and you may think wow I am kind of hungry.Now if you want the mcdonalds itself is irrelevant.What if it would have been 10 more mins. before you passed something with food displayed on it?What if you didn't see the imagery whatever that may have been maybe you wouldn't have realized you were hungry right then?We again being battered constantly with imagery have become almost oblivious to the fact that we think about something before we even recognize what put the thought in our head to begin with.This overflow of imagery leaves me with a bunch of questions.Is this (imagery)messing with our imagination?Is it adding or subtracting from our imagination and if so is it positive or negative?Do we realize that the imagery has taken its toll before the imagery has already made us do something subconsciously?Now imagery is like an attitude or a fad it's kind of contagious so are we spreading imagery ourselves without even realizing it?The influence is strong.I personally believe it is done on purpose but,that is just an opinion.There is actually a psychological way to paint things to make people look at or like something they would have never spent time pondering on.Is that tricky?Is it positive?Is it negative?How often is it really being done?What happened to the child like innocence that allowed us to have are (own) un-influenced thoughts so to speak.I look at a child and think the mind state isn't full of the clutter,the worries,the negativity and the many other things that come through imagery.A child's imagination is bar none phenomenal in the sense they can imagine something so vividly in their mind it actually exists.The pessimism that we as adults have from time to time as a child isn't even a concern.So we as people in ourselves are walking paintings or billboards.We ourselves are imagery to others.We need to take the positive reaction to imagery being that we can influence or motivate others in positive light and well.....Be that imagery.Spread that contagious imagery as though the person influenced may do the same.We also can have that child like innocence if we choose!!!There is a time and a place for everything but,you can still be aware and have the ability to take things in stride.And this again is my opinion but,when others see your imagery be it smiling all day,optimism,goals being reached,and taking life very seriously but having a sense of well being humor and caring at the same time then those people receiving your imagery or billboard so to speak will consciously or unconsciously pass it on...But if the whole conundrum is going to exist anyways regardless well make the best of it.  

Thursday, June 2, 2011

expressing an o(pain)ion

Art is an expression which I see restrictions on daily.How do you restrict an expression or freedom?Life is also full of restrictions.Like art some of life's restrictions are meant to keep you from progressing and some of them are for the safety of you and those around you.Who makes these restrictions?I understand that life and art have obvious restrictions being in life not to use drugs or in art not to paint a nude in a family friendly venue but,aside from the obvious things most human beings would call common sense why is there the artistic interrogation when it comes to placing artwork somewhere.When you are judged based on others views,opinions,restrictions or beliefs are you really exercising your own imagination?Also why must you reach a point of notoriety or fame to overcome that restriction?Are there different rules for different people?In life you have people that use drugs.You have those who seek help.You also have judgement there too!Your freedom is not freedom in the sense of I cant count on the many times any one individual who truly wants to get sober cannot receive help yet the person with the money,fame,or notoriety is accepted into treatment no questions asked.They somehow have skipped this interrogation.What if the individual without the resources has a stronger intent to get sober?Like art there is restrictions.And these restrictions are not always based on the best interest of the individual.In my opinion the restrictions are based on underlying factors whatever they may be in any one given situation.I have personally hit restrictions in both art and life.In art I have been widely accepted and widely disliked depending on the viewer but, one factor that seems to always remain the same is that as I gain more notoriety as an artist via newspaper articles,galleries,or things like being placed in the rock and roll hall of fame I am able to overcome these so called restrictions.I am happy to have my expression and freedom slowly released as an artist but,it is not fair and wouldn't be a problem provided no such restrictions existed in the first place...In life and sobriety before I got sober I was offered help when I had health insurance.Although when I chose to consciously get sober and had no money or insurance well now there were these restrictions.There was a list of rules and things for which when I had money before just were not a problem.Now I understand the money has to come from somewhere and that if everybody wasn't interviewed to an extent well the money would run dry and the system to get people sober would cease to exist.On another note though I have also seen in my own life and others people turned away because a treatment center was helping those from jail or those that had insurance and there were no more beds or room.Now what if the person turned down truly wants to get sober with every ounce of their soul and just needed that helping hand.?And what if that artist provided they did not have to paint around this set of rules or restrictions was allowed to let this imagination and creativity flow?Would that be preventing or promoting progress?Does that become counter productive?Is this just a chance we take given our mistakes or our job title?Restriction in itself is a funny word....It obviously means to restrict something. Leaving it open to restrict both negative and positive actions.A double edged sword.Now understand this blog is not a complaint and it is not meant to down grade any system or venue.It is only an observation on how rules change given an individuals status,how personally living both sides at one time or another I have seen it.Now me being able to express my opinion I can bring it to the peoples attention provided they have not already realized it,and it is only an opinion and like any opinion or given situation there is always a variable,exception,and it is always given to change at any one moment.I will leave it on this note.When you see a homeless person what is your first thought?It may be sad,bad,or ignorant based on a lack of understanding.Now that person may continue to be homeless until they pass or they may go on to own a company but,We usually just see that they are homeless.Now I have had many accomplishments for which I am happy about but also consider vanity and am very humble about.Now when you look at the fact that 4 yrs prior to having my art shown in the rock and roll hall of fame I was walking the streets homeless,I overdosed on 6 1/2 times the lethal limit of a drug and nearly died 5 yrs ago,and that I as a child used to use drugs with my mother who overdosed shortly after my 18th birthday,and that I now have over 5 yrs sober. What happens in your head as a mental process?Do you see a success story or do you look at me different cause I was homeless for three months and had some hard knocks in life?Are you,me or we as a whole being restrictive?Just food for thought..

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Art and the infamous inkblot theory

Art is like an inkblot.Its perceived in many different ways.An expression that unlike the Rorschach test (inkblot test) doesn't have a standard,rules, or a formalized way of calculating it....Its like finding yourself and who you are as a person.A freedom.Artists of any kind not only gain the gift of art itself an artist gains many things.An understanding of themselves,a freedom to express inner feelings,an outlet to alleviate any negative emotion or thought,a chance to share and interact with others,and they get to establish an emotional connection between the artwork and the viewer.This freedom can be used or abused all at the discretion of  the artist.Art can be executed right down the middle so to speak to appeal to all crowds.Art can be beautiful and elegant it can also be edgy and gritty.Art reminds me of a thing in life often overlooked that I will approach in a second.Now art as a process is always changing.Growing,swelling,regressing,progressing,drying,and it seems to always be in a state of movement.Similar to us as a human species and similar to the brain in any given thought pattern no matter how profound or mundane.So back to this thing I see so often overlooked.A tree in the fall is always considered dying.It is considered to be losing itself!How often is it looked at letting more sunshine hit the ground.How often are the shadows looked at as art themselves but most of all............The fact that when a tree loses its leaves there is a bud in that tree that stays dormant for a period but, there is life waiting to come out right behind what we call dying.This life exists but we cannot see it therefor we tend to ignore that it is right there...Very similar to art and life it has its seasons or its ups and downs.It is though always in a state of movement.It also until death will never stop.Like the Rorschach it is all about how you choose to look at it.A glass being half full or half empty scenario.Thank you all again for taking the time to see life through my eyes.It is much appreciated. 

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Criticism in its lighter and darker shades....

Definition of CRITICISM

1
a : the act of criticizing usually unfavorably <seeking encouragement rather than criticism> b : a critical observation or remark <an unfair criticism> c : critique 
2
: the art of evaluating or analyzing works of art or literature; also : writings expressing such evaluation or analysis <an anthology of literary criticism>
3
: the scientific investigation of literary documents

Criticism in its positive light- We can take criticism like we may take a piece of art work.Embrace it,Enjoy it,or hang it up on a wall and analyze it.We can constructively work with it in such a way that it embraces thought.The key word in this type of criticism is the word constructive.Provided we use it to build up,better ourselves,or gently nudge ourselves or others in a positive direction

Criticism in its negative light- We can also use criticism to downgrade others,bring them down,or use it in a more destructive manner  or method such as a judgment call so to speak.In a negative manner criticism can be used by the one criticizing to maybe hide behind some deeper insecurities.Similar to walking  past a painting and ripping it apart verbally based on a perception of what we may think might be wrong with it.Or maybe something we did not like about it


Now stay with me here........
Would you buy a painting or any piece of art that evoked a negative response within yourself? Would you give someone a piece of art you perceive to be ugly? Also do any two people perceive it in the same light?My firm belief is positivity and negativity are contagious.An epidemic we may consciously or unconsciously spread.We have all been on the receiving end of both kinds of criticism.As I have traversed through life I have noticed that we as a whole seem to spread the negative rather than the positive.Now that is my opinion and mine only.But what if we take this canvas (attitude) and paint (the way we spread it) positively rather than negatively?Letting this epidemic of positivity,evolution of thought and creativity spread like a wild fire.As a whole being a bit more conscious to encouraging and uplifting others?

Just out of curiosity what do you want to be on the receiving end of?!?!? 

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Mr. Raab (aka) Artisticneurosis.......The co-exitence !?

ARTISTIC
ar·tis·tic
\är-ˈtis-tik\
1: of, relating to, or characteristic of art or artists
2: showing imaginative skill in arrangement or execution


NEUROSIS
neu·ro·sis
  \nu̇-ˈrō-səs, nyu̇-\
1:A neurosis, in psychoanalytic theory, is an ineffectual coping strategy that Sigmund Freud suggested was caused by emotions from past experience overwhelming or interfering with present experience.
2: a mental and emotional disorder that affects only part of the personality, is accompanied by a less distorted perception of reality than in a psychosis, does not result in disturbance of the use of language

So first we have Mr.Raab.A meek and kind individual whom seeks knowledge at every turn in life always trying to learn from previous mistakes.A person whom has been given an artistic talent for which he tries to bring others to an understanding of his perception on life.A person who tries to be professional and understanding the type to encourage and uplift people.This man whom against all odds pushes through the trials and tribulations in hopes to reach the sun and blossom like a lotus.A man whom has over 5 years in recovery and has beat the odds that were a way of life for him.The type of guy to make you think and better understand yourself and why we as humans make the decisions we make.The mad scientist type mentality on thinking.The quiet yet opinionated storm.The guy that is trying to be your best friend.A man that has art all around him and see's life through an artists eyes.Where everything has its own beauty no matter how it may look or be perceived by others.Generally speaking a somewhat normal artist if there is such a thing.!?!

Secondly we have Artisticneurosis.A kind of stir up the pot kind of guy.One who when he is told he cannot do something well he makes a mission out of it.A man that hides behind feelings of inadequacy that have plagued him most of his life.One who see's art as a vessel to instill or evoke reaction with an understanding that with artistic freedom people don't have to like or approve.The type of man to go to church in a straight jacket.And yes he has (true story).But either way the person who can watch a person looking at a piece of his art work head all cocked sideways like a confused puppy and be like that art is just crazy and engage in a conversation as though he has no clue who the artist is only waiting to jump in and say hey would you like to meet the artist I think he is here.As they say yes Artisticneurosis gently puts his hand out with a smile on his face like hello and giggles as they walk away confused.Now lets not misunderstand him he in no way wants to be rude or irritating he only loves human nature and the actions therein that make people tick.He is a people watcher.The type that would start a food fight being 30 years old.The man whom only wants to hide behind his defense mechanisms whatever they may be.Sarcasm being one of his strengths

So now they co-exist...A quite interesting batch of chemicals so to speak.Can be volatile in nature depending on circumstances the two seem to be in.So seeing as how they always co-exist there perception may be a little off a times but there co-existence becomes personified into craziness that is one step away if not right on genius at points.One always winning over the other through dominance depending on which one holds the cards at any one given time which I cannot stress enough is always subject to change.Now these two co-existing should not be confused with multiple personalities!The two are completely different like oil and water but shake them together and they mix well.Leave them alone long enough they start to separate from one another till shaken once again.So when you put the two in the same room well.......Be prepared because well I deal with both of them daily and I still don't understand them.You may meet  the meek understanding person or the sarcastic yet meek person who understands your only human and will play with you just enough for you to walk away and be like what the hell just happened so interested yet to skeptical to turn around and confront them again cause as you look back they are just smiling and looking at you like you are crazy.The co-existence is a match made in heaven an orchestration for which the best psychologist would be left only to have wasted an hour they will never get back.Ears smoking again only to wonder what just happened.The co-existence is nothing to fear though people.They are simply just artist's in every sense of the word from artistic knowledge to artistic points of view and sight also stand firm in artistic freedom .They want nothing more to co-exist with the rest of humanity but,When your different well you are just different.But I stress unless you are looking for trouble, The two together are as harmless as oil and water.But they both appreciate your interest in there inner workings.

Evolution of a single human thought......

As I sit here watching paint dry I realized many things...I am easily amused,I have just wasted 15 mins. of my life that I will never get back,and paint dries slow like watching a pot of water boil,All jokes aside though I sit back stare and watch the paint dry and realize that what I have laid forth upon this canvas is stuck until I take the time to change it.Now don't get me wrong currently watching it dry I am pleased but as I watch It its like life I wonder if I would have done it another way if it would have produced different effects? Now don't get me wrong the effect is the effect and I am pleased but, through my neurosis wonder what would happen if while it was drying if I splashed bleach or water against it,What would happen if I just press my face against it?...Well I would have a painted face!!!.....But I watch and as the paint dries it reminds me of my life it can look great one second and still look great the next but completely different at the same time.Sometimes more vibrant sometimes dull but either way it is still what I have produced.And as my mind silently goes through these ramblings I realize Chris your ummm your watching paint dry!But my mind see's life every time I paint sometimes through analogies some times through over analyzing.Mainly the analyzing but either way the paint canvas brushes and finished product all scream life.They all seem to be represent something because of my love for it I suppose.I would imagine anyone's love for something would scream life to them.If it be a child,hobby,job,brother,sister,mother,father,or friend they all give us reasons to do what we do.Things they do or say or time spent with what you love may scream life...I guess the saying is true if you cant find something to live for then you better find something worth dying for!This paint is almost dry now and I have already watched my thought pattern change from the paint as it may exist to the next step being the foreground or picture itself.As I look at the background for lack of a better definition I notice also that it will effect the foreground so do I leave it as is or do I tweak it a bit to add to the foreground for which will give more life to the finished product?Now as an artist I try to always do my best only little did I understand that I come through these paintings.Now don't lose me here I do not mean physically but a piece of MR. RAAB comes through into it.If it be emotion or a story line for which I am trying to portray.Now my sub-conscience has taken over and without me even realizing it has taken control over this paint or painting.Like seeing a counselor or spending time with someone for whom you look up to.The painting like these blogs has become the way my brain bleeds out the cracks that are in my seams.Stay with me here.Now these cracks in my seams that I cannot release anywhere else release themselves through this medium of paint that is always in a process....It may be wet,drying,or already dry but it is always in a state of progress.And this progress not only allows my painting to form but also brings me to a better understanding of what lies within the painting and myself from processes to perception.Many people may not understand these ramblings that I feel so deep inside that I paint or write them.Many may not understand the paintings or these letters but the ones that do well that is where it counts.If I can help anyone see there own drying paint for lack of a better analogy or if I can make anyone find a little more of there individualism or themselves well then these ramblings like the drying paint become progress.They become a start to a deeper meaning or understanding of what may make an individual tick or what may make someone act or react.When a person becomes a seeker of knowledge rather than blissfully ignorant.I giggle as I start a blog with as I sit here watching paint dry and it has moved forward to a person who becomes a seeker of knowledge....The evolution of a single human thought..Well This is where the drying paint is ready for another layer whatever that may be.So I hope I didn't lose anyone in my rambling and I hope that there will be someone out there that see's a meaning behind these words...I allowed my thought process to bleed so at least it is not another 15 mins. I can't get back hopefully its not another 15 mins. you cant get back..I hope anyone who comes across this can find enlightenment in these words and find the individual that lies within themselves if they have not already.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Art and emotional issues

Art of any kind in itself is a self expression.Where the inner emotion becomes a constructive outward manifestation.Art is used everyday to alleviate feelings of anxiety, crisis, inadequacy, and whatever the mind may perceive as a threat in life.It is also used widely to help with many mental instabilities ranging from autism to schizophrenia among many others.Art helps the inside reach the outside.We live in a world where medications to mask symptoms have unfortunately become a way of life and given the growing number of mental issues the medications have become easier than handling the problem with a little more caring and emotion.Now art alone may not alleviate the issues completely but, it is proven to help.It allows anyone suffering from any mental issue to explore,find, and sometimes address the issues at hand.Something between art and the human mind finds what we may consciously not be approaching and doctors simply just don't have the time to find.I know personally being plagued with panic attacks and a past of addiction that art was a dramatic help.Without art I believe that on a mental level my progress would have been hindered a bit.Art has helped me go from at one time being stuck in the house to now being an upstanding member of the community.Now don't get me wrong I am still hindered slightly by not being able to go on a 4 hour ride somewhere cause of the fear that still exists inside of me but, the art has helped me dramatically in exploring those fears and why they exist.Through the art I can take a fear and make it into something positive rather than negative.Many people explore medications as an approach to get rid of an existing problem.There is nothing wrong with that but,I believe that if you were to address the issue with something constructive if it be art or not that the issue will dissipate.Now I have had people say well isn't that just masking the symptoms also? And to a point yes.There is also an underlying factor here though.The brain being as amazing as it is functions all day long even as we sleep.The brain is always running variables and scenarios.So if given a constructive outlet is the brain capable of healing itself to a degree?The art giving the mind the chance to vent so to speak would be the same as being in the woods getting out a good scream.Art has been around since before the spoken word.Since then it has been a form of expression.Maybe even the precursor to speech but again the brain being as intricate as it is found a way to get out what was dwelling so deep within.When I think about Mozart and the many others who overcame things through the arts is this something so deeply instilled in us that we neglect to explore for lack of silly things like people saying well I can't create or I am no good at that stuff?Is art this mechanism built into us to help us deal with life's many issues?Maybe, but just a random thought today.If given the right funds or opportunity I will be sure to explore in more depth.Art isn't just a picture or a style its a way of life and in my opinion a very constructive one.Thank you for anyone taking the time to read this it is appreciated. C. Raab   

Friday, May 20, 2011

This canvas we paint (life choices)

 Life, this canvas We decide to paint is a crazy one.Organized chaos with moments of complete bliss.This canvas (life) just sits there leaving itself open for us to do everything or nothing with it.This canvas may have been primed with low grade primer for which we should not complain for it only provides more motivation on the painting for which we paint later.As we first pick up a brush we may be scared of this canvas!Being reluctant to even apply paint to such a problematic canvas.Almost as an excuse not to paint (progress), thinking well it was low grade canvas to begin with do we really want to invest time in painting it?These thoughts may plague us.As we start painting this canvas we may begin to realize this is going take much more work than assumed!Layer after layer this canvas may become a mess.Colors seeming not to meld how we are shown?But are we using two completely different kinds of paint.The canvas cannot handle it.As we may watch this canvas bow out.This canvas is screaming for help.Bent,No color theory,Torn,Cracked,and yet as much as we may think, is not beyond repair.The paint was just an applied layer on top that really stressed the canvas but in the same sense had no bearing on the canvas provided we are willing to do the work to change it.So then comes the thing I like to call the mid-life crisis of our canvas where just as we may be ready to break this thing over our knees and give up.Just when this canvas cannot look an uglier.We may have to make a change and take sandpaper to it.....Whoa back down to straight canvas what a beautiful sight!Now we can apply proper primer and provided motivation we may do so.Still very skeptical to apply paint some of us may stare at this white almost blinding canvas for what seems like forever.We may feel the love for which we want to apply but know applying it as we see it in our heads was going to be no easy task.But also realizing the longer we take to ponder and look at this canvas the longer it would be before this thing would blossom into the masterpiece we think it could be.As we may or may not sit in a blank stare something just clicks and the brush seems to become one with the canvas.The two seem to co-exist.Then comes the realization as much as we may be focusing on the canvas the prep work was important to the finished product but,The paint would also have a dramatic effect on this canvas which will always be under the paint regardless of how many layers we apply.......So here is the point where our canvas's (life) take on a life of their own and with a little more love on our parts the paint can be applied how it should.So now the hard work we begin meticulously applying paint layer by layer being careful that the canvas is the foundation and that the paint was representing the love,devotion,motivation,the feelings so deep inside only paint and canvas could describe.Feelings at times so hard to swallow.Feelings inside that no emotion could express just the way it was felt.Layer after layer like watching a child grow this canvas takes on its own life for lack of a better word.This canvas was starting to not really go the way we may have portrayed in our heads but in the same sense this route it may take is like nothing we could have thought it was capable of doing......So here we are mid painting.We think we have taken this canvas in a direction bound for greatness but only time will tell?!As long as this canvas is the foundation and the paint strokes are done with the utmost care love and devotion always thinking of the end result and understanding the painting is subject to change at any time well then I guess as far as this canvas (life) goes We in our decisions have done right by it.....So as the paint is applied and dries and as long as we are comfortable looking at this canvas for the rest of our time well IT IS WHAT IT IS..............Just a random thought not to speak on anyone's behalf just an opinion that may or may not apply to many.