As I think about life and its concept of time I can only wonder why when I read the obits. people are dying at my age so frequently.This in itself has been weighing on me for some time now.If I was to pass tomorrow what would my obit. read.Would it matter.Do the things I have done mean anything in the grand scheme of things.I have come to 2 conclusions one was what my obituary may read and two was that I believe making the world a better place even if it be the change in another human's thought in the direction of happiness is well worth it.
When I got to thinking of what my obit may read.It was interesting and yet quite depressing so we have the birth date and the death date "whenever that may be".Then something along the lines of Chris was raised in Willoughby Ohio.Had his daughter for whom he loved dearly in 2001.Got sober in 2005.Was an artist showing in many galleries and the Rock an roll Hall of Fame.Helped out Project hope for the Homeless as often as possible.Spoke to the children at the juvenile detention center.Was the Vice President of Lakeshore Artists group in Ashtabula.Was a huge advocate against drug abuse.Was trying to instill public arts in his community.........Bam then I went blank................Seriously Chris how much of this actually matters in the grand scheme of things?How much of this is changing things?How much of this would your daughter be proud of.........(we official hit a metaphorical mental breakdown).....Thinking only to myself WOW something HAS got to change......Half of what you have thought of Chris doesn't even matter in relation to leaving something behind for others to carry on if they choose.How much of this really changed life's....The only saving grace in this thought process was I did not to these things for any other reason then to do them.They were not done out of selfishness or pride.......Back to the silence in my head......Chris you have to change something.There has to be something you can do to change your life.To change others life's.To make your daughter proud of her father.......Then the thought proceeded in death (if tomorrow) by his mother,many aunts and uncles,and grandparents.Leaving behind his 11 yr old daughter.......What a smack in the mouth..Really Chris?I was so happy I had accomplished anything at all given the cards I was dealt.But at the same time depressed I had done nothing of any importance to people as a whole.I had done things for myself and that was great but they either had to be done like getting sober or they we choices that I felt comfortable making.....
So now comes the time to change the status quo.Now comes the time to make that obit... Whenever it comes read differently.Here is the conscious decision to change the circumstances and life events to things (I believe) would have more validity or be more meaningful in the grand scheme of things.So on to the changes and another quick blog.On to positive movement and attitude.On to more positive thought.On to make the world I am a part of a better place in anyway possible even if it be small changes.These changes if positive are contagious and I can only hope to impact someone or something larger than I.
Christopher Raab
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