Evolution of a single human thought......

As I sit here watching paint dry I realized many things...I am easily amused,I have just wasted 15 mins. of my life that I will never get back,and paint dries slow like watching a pot of water boil,All jokes aside though I sit back stare and watch the paint dry and realize that what I have laid forth upon this canvas is stuck until I take the time to change it.Now don't get me wrong currently watching it dry I am pleased but as I watch It its like life I wonder if I would have done it another way if it would have produced different effects? Now don't get me wrong the effect is the effect and I am pleased but, through my neurosis wonder what would happen if while it was drying if I splashed bleach or water against it,What would happen if I just press my face against it?...Well I would have a painted face!!!.....But I watch and as the paint dries it reminds me of my life it can look great one second and still look great the next but completely different at the same time.Sometimes more vibrant sometimes dull but either way it is still what I have produced.And as my mind silently goes through these ramblings I realize Chris your ummm your watching paint dry!But my mind see's life every time I paint sometimes through analogies some times through over analyzing.Mainly the analyzing but either way the paint canvas brushes and finished product all scream life.They all seem to be represent something because of my love for it I suppose.I would imagine anyone's love for something would scream life to them.If it be a child,hobby,job,brother,sister,mother,father,or friend they all give us reasons to do what we do.Things they do or say or time spent with what you love may scream life...I guess the saying is true if you cant find something to live for then you better find something worth dying for!This paint is almost dry now and I have already watched my thought pattern change from the paint as it may exist to the next step being the foreground or picture itself.As I look at the background for lack of a better definition I notice also that it will effect the foreground so do I leave it as is or do I tweak it a bit to add to the foreground for which will give more life to the finished product?Now as an artist I try to always do my best only little did I understand that I come through these paintings.Now don't lose me here I do not mean physically but a piece of MR. RAAB comes through into it.If it be emotion or a story line for which I am trying to portray.Now my sub-conscience has taken over and without me even realizing it has taken control over this paint or painting.Like seeing a counselor or spending time with someone for whom you look up to.The painting like these blogs has become the way my brain bleeds out the cracks that are in my seams.Stay with me here.Now these cracks in my seams that I cannot release anywhere else release themselves through this medium of paint that is always in a process....It may be wet,drying,or already dry but it is always in a state of progress.And this progress not only allows my painting to form but also brings me to a better understanding of what lies within the painting and myself from processes to perception.Many people may not understand these ramblings that I feel so deep inside that I paint or write them.Many may not understand the paintings or these letters but the ones that do well that is where it counts.If I can help anyone see there own drying paint for lack of a better analogy or if I can make anyone find a little more of there individualism or themselves well then these ramblings like the drying paint become progress.They become a start to a deeper meaning or understanding of what may make an individual tick or what may make someone act or react.When a person becomes a seeker of knowledge rather than blissfully ignorant.I giggle as I start a blog with as I sit here watching paint dry and it has moved forward to a person who becomes a seeker of knowledge....The evolution of a single human thought..Well This is where the drying paint is ready for another layer whatever that may be.So I hope I didn't lose anyone in my rambling and I hope that there will be someone out there that see's a meaning behind these words...I allowed my thought process to bleed so at least it is not another 15 mins. I can't get back hopefully its not another 15 mins. you cant get back..I hope anyone who comes across this can find enlightenment in these words and find the individual that lies within themselves if they have not already.